Skip to main content

How To Deal With Heartbreak.


Broken hearts suck. There’s no debating that. We open ourselves to someone and we give them the power to destroy us, trusting that they won’t. Then they do. And the world doesn’t stop. It doesn’t quit spinning for you to catch your breath. You have to deal with this shattered mess inside you, while everyone goes about their business, like nothing even happened. This pain, these heartbreaks, they shape us and change us. Everyone of them touches your life differently, but getting through them is all the same. It’s hard and it’s heart wrenching, but we do it, even when we don’t want to. There are ways we can make it easier on ourselves though.
Don’t lie to yourself. It’s one thing to tell your mom and the fifty two people who ask you how you’re doing since the break up that you’re fine. Don’t lie to yourself though. If you’re not okay, it’s okay.
Don’t let anyone tell you to ‘get over it’ before you’re ready. Take your time. It’s your heart, and your heartbreak. Allow yourself to feel it in all the ways you need to in order to move on, happily. Sometimes taking the time to let yourself heal properly is the most important thing you can do.
I’m not saying you should wallow in self pity though. A moment of weakness where you down a pint of good ole Ben and Jerry’s is one thing, drowning your life in a lake of tears for months that turn into years is another. You’re allowed to be a mess but don’t wallow. It’s not helpful.
Take this time to learn about yourself. Who are you without another person? Use this time to figure that out. Find out who you are or who you want to be. Take stock of the changes this relationship made in you, because every relationship changes us, like it or not. Look for the strengths it’s brought out, work on the weaknesses. Learn everything you can about yourself.
Do what’s right for you. Always. Take care of yourself first. Spoil yourself a little. Put all the effort you were putting into your relationship into making yourself happy.
Don’t tell everyone and their brother. For one, most people don’t really care, they’re just looking for juicy gossip and your post break up sob session on their shoulder is providing it. Two, then everyone knows your business. You may be tempted to look at this as defending yourself, telling everyone what really happened before they can hear the other side of the story. Really, you’re just giving them more information than they need. Stick to your best friend, and your mom.
Get out of the house. Get up, go do things. Try new things, make new memories doing old things. Keep living.
Be vulnerable. It might make you look like a fool. It might make you feel stupid for caring. Do it anyway. Be really really, vulnerable. Be open and loving and get hurt. Be absolutely 100% authentic in your pain. Let people think what they want. You have a beautiful heart, don’t let them harden it

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Another Building Collapsed In Lagos

Another building on Monday collapsed in Lagos Island. The two-storey building, according to Channels Tv collapsed mid-day on the Island. Security operatives and emergency workers are currently at the scene to ensure the safety of residents. According to the Lagos State Emergency  Management Agency (LASEMA), no one was trapped in the building as at the time of the incident. This is coming on the heels of the collapse of a three-storeyed building in Ita-faji area of Lagos, trapping more than 100 persons, including school pupils.
1 comment
Read more

Atiku Blows Hot, Says Buhari’s Statement Inciting To Electoral Violence

POLITICS Atiku Blows Hot, Says Buhari’s Statement Inciting To Electoral Violence The Presidential candidate of the  Peoples Democratic Party  (PDP),  Atiku Abubakar , has lambasted  President Muhammadu Buhari  for saying that ballot-box snatchers will pay with their lives. In a statement on Monday by his media aide, Phrank Shaibu, Atiku said Buhari’s statement shows that the  “retired general”  is only showing his true colours and “complete” disregard for the country’s law. The statement read:  “We were shocked to hear General Buhari live on national television threatening to kill people for an offense where no such proscription exists under law. The last time we looked the death-penalty was not a sanction of the 2010 election ac “In fact, threatening people with death in the context of an election is an incitement to electoral violence, which is an offense under that act. “Once again General Buhari is showing his true colours and c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Eddie Howe blames defeat on Bournemouth players

Eddie Howe refused to blame anyone but his own players for their 5-1 hammering at Arsenal, saying "every aspect" let them down. Howe's men matched their worst away run in 85 years - nine straight league defeats - with a 5-1 thrashing at the Emirates on Wednesday night, having trailed from the fourth minute in north London. The timing of the opening goal, scored inside four minutes by Mesut Ozil, particularly irked Howe after he had called his side "exciting" pre-game, and he said: "They were too good for us, it was a difficult night. We never truly recovered from the start, and it was uncharacteristic. "I don't think we were good in any aspect of the game, with or without the ball, mentality wasn't great, it's been disappointing and we need to reflect on it honestly. " Despite their performance, Bournemouth found themselves back within a goal of their hosts at the interval after Lys Mousset's goal on the half-hour...
Post a Comment
Read more